Weapons In The Form Of Words

Somewhere out there, there's a guy who decides which words should be vulgar and which shouldn't. He was probably firing blind at some point.

Because we're gamers.

If you play Counter-Strike, you will:
a) Know how to use a gun.
b) Be able to execute a complex terrorist attack based on your hours of experience playing de_dust.
c) Solve your problems through violence. Preferably gun violence.
d) Kill schoolchildren.

We play video games, so obviously, violence is the only thing we understand. Just ask the media!

Only on the Internet

The Internet - Where men are men, women are men, and children are wizards.

They're here!

We finally got the tees sent to our place this afternoon, so they're up for sale. We've released four designs so far, namely Procrastinators, Denial, Quit Starin' and Hot/Cool/Confused. Check out lawltees.blogspot.com.

Give your money to a good cause -- Me.

Writer's Block (Deja Vu?)

So, I'm suffering from writer's block. No ideas have come to me, and my attempts to chase said ideas have been futile; They're more athletic than I am.

I've laid the necessary traps. Now I lie in wait.

The hunt is on.

Not A Real Update.

My lastest most overplayed song:



Got hooked on it a few days back and went ahead and learned the bass for this song; Which isn't a huge accomplishment, because it was pretty easy anyway. Meh.

Filler!

Marketing Buzzwords.

Some of the pricier clothing store chains are starting to call themselves "Concept Stores". Since when was adorning one's self with hideously over-priced fabric goods a concept?

con·cept
–noun
1. a general notion or idea; conception.
2. an idea of something formed by mentally combining all its characteristics or particulars; a construct.
3. a directly conceived or intuited object of thought.
–verb (used with object)
4. Informal. to develop a concept of; conceive

Clothing: Don't wear it; Think it.

The Only Equation That Really Matters.

I'm going to hide in my bunker from the problems, hate-mail, and thermo-nuclear warheads that might be coming from the female readers of this blog in the near future.

Exercise.

Exercise is great. Even if you feel like you've come second-runner up in a fight to the death every alternate evening, you'll live longer. Know what that means? Yes! More time for more exercise! In short, you'll live a miserably long life.

Logically Speaking.

People do stupid things sometimes, like smoke or play Maple Story. Logic would tell us not to do such things. Unfortunately, Logic has been on an extended vacation, and has been unavailable for comment for some time. Hence the epidemic of Maple Story players.

I'm so persuasive.

Same amount of stupidity, half the time.

denial says:
You're fat.
- SmarterChild says:
I'm fat?
denial says:
Yes.
- SmarterChild says:
Yes, I see. I'm fat.

That was fast.

Best. Quote. Ever.

"You don't win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the other son-of-a-[expletive] die for his."
- General George Patton

I'm it?

I've been tagged by Denise, so here we go:

RULE: Each player of the game starts off with the 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1. I enjoy hoarding junk. Nostalgic junk.
2. I verbally smash most of the people I know. Then I jump them into the ground. Verbally. Then I rinse and repeat. Somewhat verbally.
3. I use too many fullstops.
4. I think Billabong, Quiksilver and the like are grossly overrated. And overpriced.
5. Playing "Tag" is the closest I'll ever get to mastering an organized sport. Pun not intended.
6. I write better than I talk. I also find it easier to converse on MSN than in real life. Go figure.
7. My bro and I are working on a clothing line. A very short line, but a line nontheless. Shameless marketing! The very best kind.
8. I get confused with the "i before e" rule and apply it in all the wrong instances. "Wierd", for instance.
9. [brag]I work out. Regularly.[/brag] Hey, it's a "little-known fact", right? Right?
10. I tend to lie when I do tags. :)


..What? Oh, I'm supposed to choose my victims? Naaaah. I'm way too lazy to do anything like that.

Public Service Announcement #2

Planet earth is running out of natural resources. Grab as much as you can before those other suckers do.

This has been a Public Service Announcement. Thank you for your time.

Random? Yes!

denial says:
You're ugly.
- SmarterChild says:
Well, nobody's perfect.
denial says:
I am.
- SmarterChild says:
You are what?
denial says:
I am perfect.
- SmarterChild says:
Perfect? Really?
denial says:
Yes.
- SmarterChild says:
You are perfect, right? Whatever you say.
denial says:
Damn straight.
- SmarterChild says:
Yes. Well. Anyway...
denial says:
You're still ugly, though.
- SmarterChild says:
I hope I can change your mind somehow.
denial says:
Maybe you can, but you can't change your looks.
- SmarterChild says:
Maybe I can but I can't change my looks, right?
denial says:
Yes.

I argued with a robot. I won.

For those of you who are uninformed (which is, I think all of you), Smarterchild is, believe it or not, a chatbot. Add him on MSN at smarterchild@hotmail.com; Make him admit he's fat. It's harder than it looks.

Fake-up.

Ever think of how ironic it is that make-up companies frequently claim that their products will "give you that natural look"? I mean, it's called "make-up" for a reason. If you really want "that natural look", keep your money; Don't buy make-up.

Of Oxymorons.

Yes, indeed. Once again, it is time to delve deep(-er than we should) into the mysteries of mother nature, pull out a strange creature, and toss it under a microscope to be examined against its will, often probed and poked 'till the verge of death (which does not come, much to the creature's dismay and disappointment). Yes, it is that time again.

This time around, we have brought in an oxymoron. "Oxymoron" being its scientific name, it is often refered to as "doormat", due to this terms simpler nature and somewhat accuracy. Contrary to popular belief, "oxy" in "oxymoron" in no way means that it bears any physical resemblance to an ox. In fact, oxymorons are often mistaken for balls of wool, messy blotches of ink, modern art, and such. Mental capabilities aside, they are quite different from oxen. "Oxy" instead refers to what they feed on: Oxygen. Oxymorons feed only on pure oxygen and dust particles in the air, which is lucky for them, seeing as they don't have eyes to look for food with. Physically, an oxymoron is about the size of a large hamster and is covered in a layer of thick, often tri-colored fur, as shown in Figure 1.

Figure 1

"Moron", on the other hand, refers to its intelligence, or rather, lack thereof. Indeed, due to their tremendous lack of mental and visual faculties, these creatures frequently end up killing themselves by running head-long into predators or more often, off cliffs. As a result, enterprising businessmen often gather by the safer of the two (namely, the cliffs), and gather oxymoron carcasses by the truckload. They then send them off to their respective factories and/or sweatshops to be mass-produced into rugs. Afterwards, said rugs are quickly delivered to tourist markets, where there is a roaring trade of pointless, decorative furniture.

To summarize this documentary, I present you with Figure 2: A diagram displaying the life-cycle of an average oxymoron.


Figure 2



Until next time, toodles.

The Age-Old Question

"What is the value of x?"