I don't even have lotion.

I need a new computer.

Weaseling.

A creature that inspires more fear than stale yoghurt, PMR and Michael Jackson combined, it is (for lack of a better term) the Mountain Weasel.

As a follow-up to my last post, I have decided to further study these fascinating creatures instead of fiddlesticks. Those give me gas. Once again, I present you with our artist's close-up rendition of our specimen.





Ermm... ignore the red bits. Those are... uhh... computer glitches. Right.



As you can see, these critters are often grumpy and will not hesitate to maul you into tomorrow. Often preying on grizzly bears for sport, mountain weasels travel in two types of hunting packs: six packs and fun packs (Not to be confused with beer, abdominal muscles or Snickers bars).

These packs are lead by an Alpha-Weasel. Such a title is earned through years of weaseling their way to the top. With much effort, a cunning mountain weasel will finally ascend to become the Alpha-Weasel, until another out-weasels him.

As a word of warning, mountain weasels are often attracted to witty and sarcastic t-shirts (and the people wearing them) (NO, not *that* kind of "attracted"). This fact has resulted in the deaths of many, many cool people, which I suspect is the cause of the sudden epidemic of "homies" and "la-las".

More will come (eventually). Brace yourselves.


wea·sel n.
1. Any of various carnivorous mammals of the genus Mustela, having a long slender body, a long tail, short legs, and brownish fur that in many species turns white in winter.
2. A person regarded as sneaky or treacherous.

"Fiddlesticks"?

What's the deal with that? Have you ever wondered "What the heck is a fiddlestick?" when faced with such an exclamation? If so, you've come to the right place. Here, I will attempt to unravel the mysteries behind this elusive word. However, due to the.. challenged level of intelligence of many readers, I have simplified this presentation to easily digested pictures.

Figure 1: Fiddlesticks - To the uneducated layman



Figure 2: Fiddlesticks - The REAL Deal



Artist's rendition of a fiddlestick in its natural habitat.


Yes indeed. That is a fiddlestick. Found while flying through the Himalayas on my jetpack, I spotted it due to its luminous lime green bark. As a matter of fact, its bright spots are what protects it from it's natural predator: the mountain weasel. It's bright and gaudy colors often cause mountain weasels to attempt run themselves off cliffs, but the fiddlestick's Weasel-Begone™ gas sprayed from tiny pores found its bright spots often kill the mountain weasel before a satisfying crunch signifies their hitting the ground. However, after many, many tests, I have deemed fiddlesticks edible. Upon tasting, I found that they taste very, very green, and would accompany kumquat most excellently. More info on this fascinating flora as it comes in.

In completely unrelated news...

"Thinking doesn't work, fullstop."
-Danielle

I just had to do that.

Are YOU Prepared?

More important than Wikipedia, Xanga, MSN and this, it's..

The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency

It's everything you never needed to know about Vampires and Zombies (and Werewolves, too, apparently)! Is your neighbour a vampire? How do you fight hand-to-hand with a zombie? Are my posts going to get any more random in the near future? The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency has the answers!

I'm doubtful about that last question, though. Even a society of (clearly) upstanding and intelligent people such as the FVZA can't tell you the answer to that question.

LoL?

So, me and my bro have been working on this for about a week now. We're planning to get shirts printed with our captions on them. "Why??" you ask? For easy money, of course. Haha, naaah.. it's really because people keep asking us where we buy our captioned shirts, so we figured that since the demand was already there, why not capitalize on it?.. So yeah, actually, it's for a few extra bucks. We've got some pretty good stuff so far, and some of the designs are already on display on this blog.

Whine and Dine

First post of '07!.. but I'm mostly blogging this time out of boredom. So.. school is.. *okay* in general. Still looking forward to the weekend, though, mostly because of a (relatively) free Saturday and YC on Sunday. Otherwise, '07 is a bummer.

I'll eventually post something more entertaining (i.e with less moping and complaining). Bear with me.