Moved.

Irony!.. Well, not iron, but..

It's rather ironic how people print 'Save the Trees' pamphlets on paper. Which is made of trees.

Because in Soviet Russia, I'm funny.

In Soviet Russia, Internet searches you!

Get high on life. It's cheaper.

Because High School Musical has been upstaged.

..Not that it was really difficult, or anything.

Lies!

The table of "nutritional" facts ever-present on bags of potato chips imply that that potato chips are, in fact, nutritional. Mr. Potato, you deceiver, you.

Filling in the empty space.

Really.

Shattering your definitions of "Shortest Post Ever". Est 2006.

My [expletive] Day.

The cool morning sun begins its slow blaze. I snore gently and roll over, pulling my blanket over my head. Then a small red Volkswagon crashes through my bedroom wall. "Gnhg?.." I grunt in drowsy surprise. A large, angry man steps out of the car. "What's this house doing here, then? Right in my way, it was!" he says in a faux British accent. "Oh. Um. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking", I apologise with a confused sort of guilt. "Now, see here", he says. "I'll let you off this time, but don't let me catch you doing it again." I nod groggily as he gets back into his battered vehicle and reverses out of my first-floor bedroom.

I stumble out of bed and make my way to the bathroom, where I discover that I've developed male pattern baldness overnight. Stranger still, said pattern appears to be a triangle, or a rhombus of some sort. I shrug and greet my wife good morning as I walk downstairs for breakfast. That's strange; I don't remember being married. At least I have my familiar cup of coffee, then. "Deeear!" screeches my wife from the kitchen. "You're not supposed to be having coffee! Think of the baby!" Baby?.. I look down at my belly. "I'm pregnant!?" I exclaim. "Of course you are! Don't be silly; It's been eight months!" comes the reply. "B-But--", I begin to stammer. I run out the door in panic, and have only time to think "Where did the ground go?" before plunging downwards.

Then I wake up. It was all a dream.

A small, red Volkswagon crashes through my bedroom wall.

"Oh, [expletive]."

---

How's that for a school English assignment? Three cheers for written posts!

Switchfoooot.

Switchfoot is awesome. Chemistry is not.

More videos when my pile of homework is significantly less resembling Kilimanjaro.

My (somewhat) daily rant.

I got this chain-letter in my mailbox about a week ago. I'm quoting directly:

"This is what happened to my friend. Out of sudden his Facebook account was disabled. When he sent an email to Facebook, this is what Facebook replied him, “WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO REACTIVATE YOUR ACCOUNT FOR ANY REASON”. That’s mean, even though its Facebook fault, Facebook also will not recover any disabled account. My friend sent a mail to Facebook again, but he didn’t get any reply from Facebook.

It was a great impact to him; because all these while he really put a lot of time and efforts on Facebook. He even kept inviting people to join Facebook, but he really regretted for being such supportive. IT'S REALLY NOT WORTH FOR US TO BE SUCH SUPPORTIVE TO SOMEONE THAT’S DIDN’T APPRECIATE US. At that moment, my friend even thought of COMMIT SUICIDE."

"Time and efforts"? Correct me if I'm wrong, but Facebook is supposed to be a social network. It shouldn't matter that you're no longer an Uber-epic-ultra Vampire-Pirate on your favorite application, as long as your friends don't un-friend you for getting banned on Facebook. If they do, well... you need new friends.

Also, "my friend even thought of COMMIT SUICIDE"? Geez. Drama-queen.

A poor substitute. plzkthxbai.

[generic witty title and/or pun]

If you're reading this, you'll probably also realize that I haven't done a real update in a (long) while. And if you were hoping that this is a real update, then sorry to disappoint you. I'll write something after I get over all of my work/responsibilities/ obligations/excuses.

Don't hold your breath.

Eee - Ess - Tee.

I hate you, EST. I hate you and everything you stand for: English for Science and Technology.

And if you didn't get that, you probably don't deserve to.

I don't need glasses.

The Pessimist:
"The glass is half-empty."

The Optimist:
"The glass is half-full."

The Engineer:
"The glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

Funny stuff.

Happy 2008, everyone.